Worst pick up line

[SittinGrumpy]

What is the worst or best pick up line you have ever used or has ever been used on you?


These lines were used on me ....

I think you are too old to handle me...but I will let you try.

I usually like to start the evening with a lap dance, but I understand if you are too big or too old to do that, we can compromise.

Will you shit on my chest, please?

I love your eyes, I love your smile, I would love to do you doggie style (I liked this one, made me smile)


Lines I have used....

You have the nicest ass I have seen all day.

Wow, your eyes...man they are the bluest I have ever seen.

I'm a good girl that likes to do bad things.

I support my troops.... wanna see how?


Ok that's enough, I am sure I will catch hell for these.


Your turn...

[CrAnIuM]

Do you have change for a hundred ?


Works every time.

[SlimSkeeter]

Nice shoes! Wanna fuck?

Hello mother, want another?

OOOOOOOR

I make fun of her for something. Doesn't matter what, as its just teasing to break the ice. Has been working the past few weekends, anyway.

[SittinGrumpy]

I went to school with a girl that would walk up to you and say.... hey wanna fuck.... it worked 50% of the time

[AcId FaIrY]

Fella: "Did it hurt when you fell?"
Me: "Fell?"
Fella: "You, know, when you fell from heaven.."

Cue big cheesy grin from the guy...

Eurgh. Haha, have had that quite a few time now. Also, guy walked up to me in a bar and made out he owned the club. I thought that was a really crappy one!

[Scarlet]

Nice shoes! Wanna fuck?


I’m dyslexic. Fanna Wuck?

[Titty]

Nice legs. What time do they open?


Are those space pants? 'Cause your ass is out of this world.

[SittinGrumpy]

I think you need some warm liquid out of a me-straw.

[SlimSkeeter]

I'm like milk. I do a body good.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your Bedrock...

[TopGrey]

STFU and take it!

[KommieKat]

Do spiders sleep?

[D-Day]

I went to school with a girl that would walk up to you and say.... hey wanna fuck.... it worked 50% of the time
50% ?...was she ugly?

[4nik8]

Is there enough room for both of us in your card board box?

[SittinGrumpy]

50% ?...was she ugly?

I didn't think she was all that, she had purple hair and big glasses lol

[Scarlet]

I'd like to shag your brains out, but looks like someone else did it first.

[SittinGrumpy]

SHOW ME SUM BOOTY PLZ

[Scarlet]

Hi. I'm horny. You'll do.

[SlimSkeeter]

I didn't think she was all that, she had purple hair and big glasses lol

I'd do her.

[Negativecool]

Lots of creativity in this thread. I've never heard any of these before.


Ever.


Enter my true story of my worst pick up line ever to break up the clichés. I saw a chick at a bar my junior year in college that was so fucking hot it still haunts my fantasies today. I was so stricken with absolute bonerific lust that I couldn't do anything but simply tell (not ask) her to have sex with me. Why? Because I wanted absolutely nothing from her but a hole(s) somewhere on her body I could stick my dick into, hence the abrupt and direct approach.

I was denied.
:(
bitch

[SlimSkeeter]

Is that a mirror in your pants, cuz I can see myself in them

Are you from Tennessee? You're the only Ten I see.

Your feet must be tired. Why? You've been running through my mind all day.

[jeepneasy]

girl: I am not feeling good
guy: how about a some penniscilliun

I once used the chorus form that song by the Bloodhound Gang.... you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals lets do it like they do on the discovery channel.... she was a slut but it worked

[Scabman]

I want to spit on your face... with my cock!

Oddly enough, it worked. I must be a charming summbitch.

[SlimSkeeter]

girl: I am not feeling good
guy: how about a some penniscilliun

I once used the chorus form that song by the Bloodhound Gang.... you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals lets do it like they do on the discovery channel.... she was a slut but it worked

That 'minds me. You should try using their song "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo"

[Grim_Legion]

guy: walking up with beer bottle top in eye socket like a monocle .. saying excuse me did you throw this at me ?

[jeepneasy]

want to have your belly button tickled... from the inside

[Scarlet]

I want to spend the rest of my night with you.

My penis is cold, want to help me warm it up?

[NiBBler]

How about the romantic approach I received tonight?

I met this guy recently though a friend who I ran into tonight at the store. He apparently has gotten my number from the friend. He called me one minute after I drove away to tell me that he would "so love to fuck me" and "how about it?".

What ever happened to "would you like to go to dinner or to a movie?". Damn younguns.

[Scarlet]

How about the romantic approach I received tonight?

I met this guy recently though a friend who I ran into tonight at the store. He apparently has gotten my number from the friend. He called me one minute after I drove away to tell me that he would "so love to fuck me" and "how about it?".

What ever happened to "would you like to go to dinner or to a movie?". Damn younguns.

I hope you replied in the affirmative?
Yes? You have learnt your lessons well, grasshopper.

[NiBBler]

I hope you replied in the affirmative?
Yes? You have learnt your lessons well, grasshopper.Haha, you have to ask?

[Scarlet]

Haha, you have to ask?

Nope. I love you too much to do that.
Besides, I already know.

[jeepneasy]

how about a mouth hug....

[bahumbas]

Did you just fart baby?
because you blow me away

[SlimSkeeter]

I lost my number, can I have yours?


*knocks on door* I'm with the building association. I'm going around to see how many and which women are putting out.

[InterStella]

Him: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Her: "Unfertilised"

Boom boom.

[jeepneasy]

Did you just fart baby?
because you blow me away

nice one....

[bahumbas]

Did your wings just fall off?

you look like an angel

so chessy right?

[Violet]

"I want a Violet-shaped cock mitten."

^Now we're engaged, so I'd say it worked.

[SittinGrumpy]

How am I suppose to get better looking if you are not getting drunker ... this one made me giggle!

[sew watt]

Try this:

Walk up to someone you want to know, grab the ice out of their drink. Drop it on the floor, and stamp on it.

Next say "Now that we've broken the ice...."

Sometimes lameness and innovation works ;)

[Josie]

Try this:

Walk up to someone you want to know, grab the ice out of their drink. Drop it on the floor, and stamp on it.

Next say "Now that we've broken the ice...."

Sometimes lameness and innovation works ;)

Haha! Or you could just end up stamping on a piece of ice while it defiantly refuses to shatter.... or try to stomp on it, only to have it slide away with your foot - making you do the splitz.

Amusement. Yes indeed.

[Scarlet]

You look pretty good now that I'm pretty drunk.

[jeepneasy]

I want to wear you like a hocky mask.....

[Easytrigger]

Hey ladies, I'm single.
Shit never works but i do get plenty of laughs. :(

[SittinGrumpy]

Hey, will you show me how to dance? I mean really just show me...

[SittinGrumpy]

Asking a woman's husband.... "can she show me how to dance"

[SlimSkeeter]

You, covered in salsa con queso, would satisfy all my cravings right now.

[Wenis]

Hey, alright? Great, whatever.

This is how it is; I am really horny and want a girl to have sex with. You look pretty drunk and I can see 2/3's of your tits which you present admirably, you are just what I am looking for.

I don't know what it is with this world, what's the point of going to a nightclub and stuff when all I want is sex? Sure I could pay for it, but I know there is roughly 50/50 split of men and women in the world, why don't we singles all just line up and have sex with people we fancy immediately? These overpriced drinks and repetitive techno beats are nice, but I'd much rather just be having sex right now. With a refractory period of 15 minutes, and enough spunk to fill a shot-glass, I could get through 5 or 6 girls- one of them COULD be you, think about it. As a girl, you could be having sex constantly achieving multiple orgasms maybe I can't promise anything. Now you have heard my side of the argument, should we just..what do you mean no?...thanks for wasting my fucking time skank.

[Deadly_Toxin]

"Nice poopcutter. Kind of reminds me of a cheese grater."

Apparently it actually worked on the Mr. Sub girl. The two have been dating ever since.

[NiBBler]

"I'm just looking for a one night stand."

[Cúchulainn]

Hey, baby, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Works every time.

[Gravy]

Fat penguins - I thought I'd say something to break the ice.

I've lost my number, can I have yours?

There's a party in my pants, but I wasn't invited. How about you and I start our own party?

I can lick my own eyebrows.

If I said you had a nice ass, would you hold it against me?

Hi, I'm Dave. <- works every time. Not.

[Gravy]

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?

Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.

[Wenis]

Fat penguins - I thought I'd say something to break the ice.

I've lost my number, can I have yours?

There's a party in my pants, but I wasn't invited. How about you and I start our own party?

I can lick my own eyebrows.

If I said you had a nice ass, would you hold it against me?

Hi, I'm Dave. <- works every time. Not.

I find it's easier to write a list like this down, walk up to a girl and just read them off with no filler, stuttering as I fail to read my own handwriting.

Gets 'em going.

[Kashmir]

I would kill or die to make love to you.

[CrAnIuM]

^^ The floss with some dude's nut hairs was more your style .. you should have left it.

[Kashmir]

^^ The floss with some dude's nut hairs was more your style .. you should have left it.
it is not my style you fuck but here you go.."I wanna floss with your pubic hair".

[CrAnIuM]

it is not my style you fuck but here you go.."I wanna floss with your pubic hair".


Nasty ass welfare queen.